Tipping Point (A Confession) - Part 1

*Heads up, I split this post into 2 parts. Rather than just hitting you at the end with a To Be Continued, I figured I'd tell you now.*

Well, I've been on here blogging for 6 months now, so I figure I should probably tell you how I got myself into this mess in the first place. This whole 20/20 hindsight bit is doing a good job of smacking me around right now. It was actually kind of stressful writing this, it's quite embarassing.

There were no dire emergencies, no unexpected job losses, no identity theft crises, nothing. Just good old fashion bad judgement. Lots of rash decisions coupled with serious fiscal mismanagement.

This is when I finally realized I had gone too far:

Those of you who follow fashion know exactly what this is a picture of, and know that it's not cheap. This was my wake up call. I'll start at the beginning.

September 2009

I had been working at a company that was a very poor fit for me, to the point that it was making me ill. By this point I had been suffering from severe insomnia for about 6 months, I was having anxiety related panic attacks at my desk at work, I was depressed, and my physical health was starting to deteriorate. I was getting chest pains from the anxiety. I began worrying about my heart health, as my grandmother started having heart attacks in her 30's. I didn't want to be the one who started in her 20's.

I demanded the company take me off the project where I was working, and bring me back to the office. It was either that or I quit. I was working a camp job a couple hours outside of Fort McMurray, working 21 days straight for 12-16 hours a day. It's a very intense work environment, which normally I like, but the company culture made it very difficult for me.

My salary at this job, including all of the perks, bonuses and RRSP contribution matching was just shy of $100,000 a year.

October 2009

Back at the office I told my supervisors what the issue was, and told them that I needed some stability for a little bit to get my health back under control. They agreed, and said this wouldn't be an issue. So, I started working my 40 hour work weeks, doing the best job I could while I was there, and doing my best to leave work behind when I got home.

At the same time at home, I had an unhealthy long distance personal relationship, and an unhealthy roommate relationship. I had originally planned to buy my first home by October 2010, but the living arrangement pushed me to start searching immediately. I found, and put an offer on, a foreclosed home in Edmonton's west end. It needed a bit of work, but I was looking forward to doing exactly that.

Toward the end of the month I noticed that my coworkers were making snide remarks about me. Leaving at 5:00 pm was called "Pulling a Cassie". They'd plan group get togethers and not invite me. It was an uncomfortable work environment to say the least.

My salary at this time was around $61,000 a year.

November 2009

Work asked me to help out with a project in another province, just to help them get over a rough patch. The first estimate was 1 week. Then by the end of the conversation it was 2 weeks. By the end of the day they had stretched it to 2 months, so I went up to the supervisor and said it's either 2 weeks or I don't go, because I had to be back here to sign my mortgage papers in 2 weeks. I went.

When I got there, my hours bumped back up to the 70-80 hours a week range. I couldn't take it anymore. I ordered a laptop online to replace my dying one so that I'd have something to assemble resumes and cover letters on. I started contacting everyone I knew for references; past managers, university professors, you name it. I sent out resume after resume, at this point, I'd do anything to get out of there. I bought a couple USB keys and put all of my work on them, so that when they tried to tell me my computer had to stay (so I'd come back after signing my mortgage) I'd tell them I didn't need to.

I signed the papers on my home and moved in at the end of the month.

December 2009

I got a reply from one of the resumes I sent out, and set up an interview that quite convieniently fell right after a doctor's appointment downtown. They offered me the job in the interview, and said they would get back to me with a salary offer in a couple days. It was lower than what I was currently making, though I calculated that I could still live on it even with my mortgage payments, though it would take a bit of overtime to make things comfortable. They said that wouldn't be an issue. I accepted over the phone, walked back inside, and quit my job... 2 weeks after I moved into my home.

I spent 2 weeks over Christmas renovating my home, living off the vacation pay I had accumulated from not going on vacation while working for my former employer. I spent several thousand dollars on housing materials, and several hundred dollars buying office appropriate clothing for work, as I was doing largely construction work before.

January 2010

I started my new job the beginning of this month. It's a much healthier work environment, though I still find myself struggling with anxiety. I spend my evenings and weekends going out with friends and doing things I never had time to do before. At this point I didn't really keep an eye on my finances. For that matter, my spending habits didn't really acknowledge the fact that my income had severely decreased over the last couple months.

My salary at this time was around $52,000 a year.

February 2010

Back in the summer of 2008 I submitted an application to volunteer for the Vancouver Winter Olympics. What do you know, I made the cut! I was assigned to be part of the course crew for the men's downhill ski races. That meant I spent the majority of the duration of the Olympics skiing and working on Whistler mountain. That also meant I had to take time off work. My new employer knew this in advance, and was completely cool with it. However, because I was still in my probationary period, I had to take my time off with no pay rather than take it out of my vacation time. So, 1 month into my new job, I took off to Whistler for 3 weeks with no pay. I stayed with friends of the family in Squamish, which brought my costs down considerably, but I still spent money on odds and ends while I was there. By odds and ends I mean I bought some ski clothes when I figured out that the clothing provided was inadequate for my volunteering position.

Adding to the cost was the fact that one of the medics spilled beer on my phone, and despite my best ricing efforts it was frazzled. Instead of waiting it out, or getting a cheap replacement, I went out and got the phone I had been planning on getting in a few years when my phone was supposed to die: an iPhone. Out came the plastic.

It was a very expensive month.

March 2010

I was quite aware that I had spent a good chunk of money the last couple months, so I decided I should start paying more attention to it. When I did up my net worth calculation I wasn't really happy about where I was sitting. I knew I was going to be getting a decent refund the next month, and I planned on using it to pay a bunch of the debts off, but I knew I should start keeping better track of my money. I started doing my month end balance checks this month.

To Be Continued

*and away...*

Okay, now for this month's slip ups.

I don't know how it is you girls (and guys) out there manage your all out shopping bans without slipping up at all. You have willpower of steel. I apparently have the willpower of a wifflebat.

On the upside however, even though there were a lot of red days last month, the spending itself was kept pretty low. Less than $100 for the entire month. This is the smallest total to date :)

Okay, as I mentioned a few days ago I was working outside for about a week this month. All things considered, it was reasonably nice out. It was about -8 out, perfectly acceptable March weather. Unfortunately, it was also a little windy, which makes things worse. I didn't have direct access to sunshine, and the landscape was shaped in such a way that the wind funneled itself to where we were working. Basically build a wind tunnel and put it inside a deep freezer, that's where I was working. I made it all of half an hour the first morning before I was shaking uncontrollably. Knowing that I'd be there the rest of the week, I went down to Mark's Workwear World and bought myself a big bag of those chemical warmers that you can stuff in your gloves, an insulated boot sole liner which I had to cut down to size (they don't make full liners or insulated rubber work boots in my size), a neck warmer, and a pair of fleece lined work gloves. I've worked in colder temperatures before, but I have never been as cold at work as I was that day.

Credit Card Damage: $46.71

The next day, rather than bringing cash from home, I put a hot lunch on my credit card. I've really got no excuses for this, I used it because it was convenient.
Credit Card Damage: $9.61

Back at Mark's Workwear World again. I had run out of those chemical warmers and needed some more to finish the job off. Again, I didn't have any cash on me.
Credit Card Damage: $7.52

My recurring habit that I know how to fix and just haven't. iTunes. This is sheer laziness. I bet if I took my credit card number off the site this one wouldn't happen anymore.
Credit Card Damage: $11.31

And finally, the last one to top off my month (which literally was the last day of the month) was lunch. As I mentioned yesterday, I haven't been brining my lunch to work. As such, I've pretty much run through my desk lunch supplies. My body has had it up to HERE with scones, bagels and other processed baked goods; my skin is beginning to show it; and I just don't feel good. Not cool. I had $3 in my coin purse, which would pretty much only get me those baked goods. So, I picked up lunch and put it on my debit card. So ticked off that it happened on the last day of the month.
Debit Card Damage: $11.50

That beings me to a grand total of  $86.65 worth of non-cash spending. It's better than February and March, but there is still lots of room for improvement.

On another positive note, I managed to write down all of my spending for the month of March as well :) I'm going to keep this up for now on, it's been very helpful.

*slide*

And now, for last month's slips. Needless to say, it was a little rough for me this month, especially around the middle. I'm not going to beat around this one, I slipped into an old, very bad, habit this month. I used shopping to beat stress.

I seriously deserve a beat down for this one.

After what was the hardest day I've had at work in well over a year, I went shopping. I didn't use cash. I did set myself a limit, I wasn't allowed to spend any more than 50% of my extra payments this month. That way by the end of the month I was still digging myself out, it was just slower than anticipated. Still, it's a habit I need to break.

After reading on Hi That's My Bike that the jeans I had been after were on sale at Anthropologie, I trotted down there and picked a pair up. Originally almost $220, they were marked down to $80.  While I was there I noticed the sweater I had been fawning over the weeks leading up to Christmas was marked down to $40 from $120, so I picked up the last one in my size as well. Tack on a couple small gifts for people, and a tube of mascara to replace mine (it was time), and I was done. Part of what limited the shopping (other than the fact that the mall was closing), wasn't so much the fact that it would mean my debt would take longer to pay off, but the fact that I'd have to write about it on here. Let's face it, admitting to this stuff is embarassing. So, thank you all.
Credit Card Damage: $184.64

I love music. I know what I should do here is delete my credit card information off iTunes, go out and buy an iTunes gift card with cash, and then use that. As of yet I haven't done it. Chalk this up to laziness, I'll buy one next time I'm out getting groceries.
Credit Card Damage: $3.57

As many of you probably saw earlier in the month, I signed up for the Ride to Conquer Cancer. Unfortunately there was a sizable registration cost associated with signing up for it.

That's right, I paid money to raise money for someone else.

I don't feel too bad about the cost of the registration because they feed us and provide us with a place to sleep that weekend. I'm basically paying for a weekend out now rather than in June. They only took either credit card or cheque for the registration costs, and I didn't have any cheques on me, so it ended up going on my credit card. That's the problem with having your card number memorized, its still usable even when it's frozen in a block of ice. My only saving grace on that is that while I have the loooooong number on the front memorized, the short one on the back I don't. That means I usually can't use it online. I put extra money on my card the following payday, but it would have been nice if that money went towards paying the balance down rather than just maintaining it.
Credit Card Damage: $75

That's $263.21 in non-cash spending during the month of February.

*facepalm*

That sucks.

Amazingly enough though I didn't use my debit card all month, other than to take money out of the bank machine every payday. I did however write down and track my spending all month, which was one of my other goals for February. I'll post the results of that tomorrow :)

*slip*

As some of you remember from my New Years resolution post, one of my goals for this year was to go cash only in my purchases. For the most part I've been quite successful. There were some slips in January however, and I feel that for the sake of keeping myself accountable, I should put them up here.

Our company had it's Christmas/New Years party the second weekend in January. I think they had started planning the party a little late and all of the good venues had filled up, so they moved it into the new year. We had an evening in the ballroom of the Fairmont Hotel MacDonald. Absolutely gorgeous.

I love this hotel

I had a dress picked out that I planned to wear for the evening. We're not a super stuffy office at work, there's only a handful of guys that wear suits, and that's only if they have a client meeting that day. I figured it would be suitable. The day before the party I was talking to one of the ladies in the office, discussing what we were going to wear. I described the dress and her eyes got wide and she said "Oh no, that's not fancy enough. It's a semi-FORMAL cocktail party".

Well crap.

I went home and raided my closet only to discover that the dress I was planning to wear was the most formal thing I owned before it jumped to my all out formal graduation dress. So Saturday afternoon, the afternoon before the party, I was doing the mad dash power shopping in West Edmonton Mall. How bad could it be, all the New Year's dresses should be on sale, right? Wrong. Almost every store I hit had already cleared out their party gear, leaving me pretty hooped for well priced selection. I ended up scouring the racks in Winners, coming up with just 2 dresses in my size. I ended up settling on this silver silk Michael Kors cocktail dress. It was originally $225, marked down to $77. A bit more than I wanted to spend, but I was short on time. The picture doesn't do it justice, but lets face it, what more do you expect from dressing room lighting? Debit Card Damage: $80.85

The next one really was no more than lack of restraint. I should have gone home, grabbed the money, and come back. Instead, I shopped impulsively. I really need to work on that. Victoria's Secret was having a clearance sale: 10 pairs of underwear for $20. I don't remember when the last time I got underwear for $2 a pair was. Thankfully (and kinda sadly) their bras don't actually fit me, so the damage was somewhat curbed in that respect. I'd been meaning to get some underwear, so that was a plus. Right price, wrong method of payment. I accept responsibility for this one. Debit Card Damage: $21.00

This one was related to me being sick for a couple weeks. After a week of being sick, and nothing really helping to curb it, it occurred to me that what I was feeling felt more like a sinus infection than a cold. I checked online, and sure enough the symptoms were a direct match. Monday I went in to the doctor's office to be checked out. Sure enough, sinus infection. So, out came the prescription pad. Rather than going home and getting the cash out of my envelopes and picking up the drugs the next day, I bought them immediately after the doctor's appointment. I already had a raging sinus headache, and I was looking for relief. Debit Card Damage: $14.64

The last one was a case of me breaking down and buying some music on iTunes.
Credit Card Damage: $8.43

Total non-cash damage: $124.92. The rest of my spending for the month of January was done with cash: eating in, eating out, socializing, toiletries, you name it. Not good, but much better than it would have been otherwise if I wasn't trying to go cash-only. It's definitely making me rethink and plan my spending.  I'm hoping February goes a little better, because I really don't know what happened with my finances last month.

*Forgot a date. Spent $3.50 on hot chocolate. Total damage $128.42*

Falling off the Bandwagon

I've been curious to see what happens to my blogging when I fall off the band wagon. It apparently falls off the band wagon too. In the last week I've over $100 on makeup, underwear and patterned nylons. Not entirely unnecessary purchases, but not strictly necessary from a frugal standpoint either.

And now I'm going skiing.

So much for budget smoothing this month.