Monday, January 24, 2011

First Date Finances

As I mentioned yesterday, I went on a date on Saturday, and despite both of us being quite nervous it seemed to go pretty well. In fact we're going on another one this week.

I know the generally accepted first dates are typically coffee or drinks, but ours turned into a full day adventure. We watched the Oiler's skills competition (playful hockey competition for those of you not familiar with the NHL), played several games of pool, and went for dinner.

I know it's traditional/customary for guys to pay for the first date, but I realized something this morning that has me thinking. While we were at the skills competition, he was paying for everything with cash. After we played pool, I believe he paid cash again. When we went out for dinner, he paid with a credit card. I'm well aware that it wasn't a cheap date, and I'm feeling like I should have chipped in somewhere. I don't like to think that a guy is putting himself into debt just to take me on a date!

I have a couple movie passes, so I'm covering the cost of the (much smaller) date this time. We're going during the work week, so I know this one won't turn into another 12 hour adventure. But I'm still wondering if I should have chipped in on the first one. How do you feel about first date payments? Do you go traditional, or do you believe the "he pays" is obsolete? Do you think when you switch activities that you should start chipping in? (So the first date was essentially 3 dates) I'd like to hear from you on this one.


FireWynd said...

Some back ground so you know my perspective. I'm a 29 year old guy. I've been married for around five years.

When I was dating, typically older women (close to my age) expected traditional. I was fine with that as that is how I was raised.

But when I would date some of the younger girls (several years younger than me) they would from time to time offer to pay, or plan the date and pay.

From my perspective... it was nice. Although as a red personality kind of guy, I would definitely want to pay for and cover the first few dates. Then after I felt more comfortable and casual then I was definitely open to switching it up. It did make things more exciting. Having to plan all of the dates is hard work. Also it costs a lot of money!

Cassie said...

Thanks a lot FireWynd, I appreciate getting a guy's perspective on it. :)

Finally Frugal said...

Yay, a date! How fun! I usually offer to pay my share (or buy the second round of drinks or whatever). Usually the guys I date will turn me down the first time around but will "let" me (lol) chip in on a second date, as you're doing.

I'm kind of torn on this one; I sort of like the traditional rules where the guy pays, but I also don't think it's really fair - many of us are making as much as, if not more than our male friends/boyfriends/partners, right?

It's a tough one! I love that he paid cash for the first part of the evening, though. Maybe the credit card was a debit card, and came out of his checking acct rather than piling up his debt?

Have fun at the movies!!

Cassie said...

Thanks FF :)

I'm with you, I like the tradition where he pays, but at the same time I know that if he is out earning me it isn't by much. It's not fair for him to always have to be paying my way.

No, I saw the card. Definitely credit card. I'm just going to go with the idea that he pays it off every month. You know, like a responsible person would *cough cough* :)