Friday, October 8, 2010


I'm conflicted at the moment.

I had an absolutely great time last night. I went for dinner with a friend at Mongoli Grill (a build your own stir fry place), then went to the season opening Oilers game (hockey for you not in the know. Battle of Alberta - Edmonton vs. Calgary, freaking awesome game). Bought a jersey, had a Starbucks & Baileys, cheered on my team to a fantastic 4-0 win and had a general good time.

... and I feel guilty.

Why? My friend makes loads more money than I do, and he paid for all of it. Well, almost. I paid for my coffee, but he probably would have paid for that too if he had been ordering at the same time. Dinner (business expense, we discussed work), game tickets (family has season tickets) and jersey (he swears it's an early Christmas gift). That's a couple hundred dollars. I know he's SUPER generous with his friends and family, has all of his debts paid off, makes 6+ figures and year and has nothing to do with it but spend it or save it... but I feel guilty accepting it. It's too much, and I don't feel like I can reciprocate. He's seeing someone, and not that kind of guy, so don't even let your mind go down that route. And please don't roll your eyes about "oh, what a terrible problem to have...". It doesn't feel good. Unless I can reciprocate it, I feel like I'm using him. I'm so much more comfortable with our usual Starbucks and farmer's market wandering.

Advice? Anyone?


Anonymous said...

I would feel the same way in your shoes, but imagine that you were someone who made 6+ figures a year and had no debt and nothing to do with your money but spend it or save it. Wouldn't you want to treat your friends to the occasional dinner out and hockey game?

I know I would! One of the things I'm most looking forward to about being debt free is having that money to spend on my friends and family.

I'm not saying to take advantage of his generosity. Be grateful and try to remember that if you were in his shoes you'd do the same for him. And someday, when you're out of debt and making more money, I'm sure you WILL reciprocate. :)

Cassie said...

Thanks Red, I appreciate it. I was thinking about this post the other day. You raise a good point, if I was in his shoes I'd probably be doing the same thing. For now I just try to be a good friend and do smaller things, like taking him popsicles when he was sick earlier this month.